I’m A Mess

Forgive me, please. And just try to understand a bit.

Here’s the link to my tumblr as I attempt to get my writing back on track: Nothing… Everything

Project 365: #3

deadmau5 concert

Project 365: #2

In preparation for the concert tomorrow. I need to get hyper beforehand seeing as it’s not exactly my preferred genre of music.

Project 365: #1

The view from my 4th floor balcony

Project 365

The aim of Project 365 is to take a photo a day.

I am not a professional photographer. In fact, I don’t even really LIKE taking photos – I usually prefer to just live in the moment and hope somebody else documents it for memory’s sake. But Project 365 sounds like a challenge I’d be unable to complete, which makes the appeal to actually do it and finish just that much stronger.

START DATE: Thursday, May 5th 2011.

Music Week (Day 7)

Whew, my last day of Music Week is finally here!!

I tried to mix it up and put some of the songs I like from different genres. I’ll refrain from calling them my favourites because I’m in love with tooooooo many songs to give that title to these seven. I’m definitely in-like with them though. And I didn’t go down the Tupac road, because I might have just ended up with Music Year

I like being exposed to new music so feel free to post/email me suggestions or links or whatever, yeah?

Today’s song represents what hip hop means to me. Maybe not literally because I can’t honestly say that I ‘grew up’ with hip hop, or it was my saving grace or whatever BUT, and this is a big but (he he), the lyrics, the story, the creativity, the double entendres, the emotions, THAT’s what hip hop is to me. Not the meaningless shit you hear from every tom, dick and harry who thinks he’s cool because he incessantly repeats the word nigga and talks about money and bitches and pussy (though we all know quite a number of them aren’t exactly what we’d call straight). And being ‘gangsta’. Shudder. To me, hip hop has to have actual meaning to qualify as hip hop. It’s basically poetry set to a beat. And I don’t think hip hop lovers are restricted any one group. True music should move you regardless of your usual preferences and what you like to get down to on the dance floor or whatev, because real music speaks to your soul and isn’t dependent on language, or style, or upbringing, or class, or anything as superficial as that. Yeah, okay, semi-rant? Done.

I’m posting 2 videos to the song. The first is the ordinary (but still lovely) video that is generally played, and the second is the one with Erykah Badu’s rap and is the version I prefer, although it refuses to play on wordpress. So yeah.

Oh, and in case you’re not reading the lyrics while listening to the song – the yellow is Erykah, the red is Common. And the orange, of course, is Ms. Badu’s rap. And for some reason WP won’t let me double space my writing, so that’s why the verses are like all over the place – at least the different alignments allows there to be some sort of demarcation.

Music Week? CHECK!

LOVE OF MY LIFE (ODE TO HIP HOP)

Erykah Badu featuring Common

I met him when I was a little girl

He gave me poetry and he was my first

But in my heart I knew, I wasn’t the only one

‘Cause when the tables turned he had to break up

Whenever I got lonely, needed some advice

He gave me his shoulder, his words were very nice

That is all behind me,

‘Cause now there is no other

My love is his, and his is mine

My friend became my…

Love of my life, you are my friend

Love of my life, I can depend

Love of my life, without you baby

Feels like I sampled true love

Well my name is Apples and I rock your world

I’m also known as the Gucci girl

Well, I’m super-cute and plenty bad

30-26-36 and a half

I hope that you will realize

I got the hazel eyes that’ll hypnotize

And knock you to your knees

Make you eat cheese

You’ll be so helpless you’ll be beggin’ me please

A freak, freak y’all and you don’t stop

To the beat y’all and you don’t stop

A freak, freak

Oh, could it be that it was all just so simple then?

A teenage love but you said, “He’s just a friend.”

He moved around and we kept in touch through his friend Mike

The world was young and we knew we couldn’t rush

But whenever I got lonely, or needed some advice

He gave me his shoulder, his words were very nice

That is all behind me

‘Cause now there is no other

My love is his, and his is mine

My friend became my…

Love of my life, you are my friend

Love of my life, on you I can depend

Love of my life, without you baby

Feels like I sampled true love, yeah

Mission and clear

Y’all know how I met her –

We broke up and got back together

To get her back, I had to sweat her

Thought she rolled with bad boys forever

In many ways them boys made it better

To grow, I had to let her

She needed cheddar, and I understood that

Looking for cheese, that don’t make her a hood rat

In fact she’s a queen to me, her light beams on me

I love it when she sings to me

It’s like that and uh

You know you rock my world

You be boy, and I be girl

It don’t stop until the break of dawn

And it don’t stop, cuz it can’t quit, cuz it can’t wait

and the one with the short rap

Music Week (Day 6)

This song, just like all her other songs, is so beautiful and expressive and well-written and…simple.

It also definitely ranks as one of my top 10 shower songs

 

READY FOR LOVE

India.Arie

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me?
I’d quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
Lately I’ve been thinking
Maybe you’re not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I’ll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won’t complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance
I will prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respects the spirit world
And thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
If you’ll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can

I am ready for love
Here with an offering of
My voice
My eyes
My soul
My mind

Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love

I am ready

Twenteen

And so today I get to interrupt Music Week just to say

TO

 

This being my first birthday away from home, I’ve insisted that I don’t want to do anything. I’ve taken it down from all the social networking sites I belong to, and I’m just going to let the day pass (although carefully observing who my true friends are, of course).

So why am I writing about it here? Because, first of all

 

and so

 

…including making this (kinda) ugly post with nearly no colour (even though I’m a colour-freak) which I shall probably come to regret.

But after skyping with my entire nuclear family (minus my brother – whom I shall NOT forgive if I don’t hear from by the end of the night), and being sung for over the phone by my grandfolks all the way in goddamn Shianda, Kakamega, Kenya all within the first 2 hours of my day, I’m kinda over-flowing with happiness and appreciation and LOVE for the people close to me… *content sigh*

I’m not even going to edit any grammatical errors today, I’m just leaving it like this.

I LOVE MY FAMILY.

 

(to be continued…)

Music Week (Day 5)

I don’t have much to say about the song today. Discussing anything political always takes too much out of me emotionally, so I don’t do it much any more. I still get goosebumps each time I listen to this song. Sometimes, it makes me cry.

HANDS HELD HIGH

Linkin Park

Cover via Amazon

Turn my mic up louder, I got to say something

Light weights step it aside when we come in

Feel it in your chest, the syllables get pumping

People on the street, they panic and start running

Words on loose leaf sheet complete coming

I jump in my mind, I summon the rhyme, I’m dumping

Healing the blind, I promise to let the sun in

Sick of the dark ways we marched to the drum and

Jump when they tell us that they wanna see jumping

Fuck that, I wanna see some fists pumping

Miss something, take back what’s yours

Say something that you know they might attack you for

Cause I’m sick of being treated like I have before

Like it’s stupid standing for what I’m standing for

Like this war’s really just a different brand of war

Like it doesn’t cater the rich and abandon the poor

Like they understand you in the back of the jet

When you can’t put gas in your tank

These fuckers are laughing their way to the bank

And cashing their cheque

Asking you to have compassion and have some respect

For a leader so nervous in an obvious way

Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day

In their living rooms laughing like, “What did he say?!”

Amen amen

Amen amen

Amen

In my living room watching but I am not laughing

Cause when it gets tense I know what might happen

The world is cold, the bold men take action

Have to react or get blown into fractions

Ten years old is something to see

Another kid my age dragged under the jeep

Taken and bound and found later under a tree

I wonder if he had thought, “The next one could be me…”

Do you see the soldiers that’re out today?

They brush the dust from bullet-proof vests away

It’s ironic – at times like this you pray

But a bomb blew the mosque up yesterday

There’s bombs in the buses, bikes, roads

Inside your market, your shops, your clothes

My dad, he’s got a lot of fear I know

But enough pride inside not to let that show

My brother had a book he would hold with pride

A little red cover with a broken spine

On the back, he hand-wrote a quote inside:

‘When the rich wage war, it’s the poor who die.’

Meanwhile, the leader just talks away

Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day

Both scared and angry like, “What did he say?!”

Amen amen

Amen amen

Amen

With hands held high unto a sky so blue

As the ocean opens up to swallow you…

Because I’ve not found any two sites that write the lyrics to this song in 100% the same way, there may be a few mistakes. But those are irrelevant to the message so I’ll let them stand.

LISTEN TO IT HERE –> Hands Held High by Linkin Park

Music Week (Day 4)

I love angels. There’s just something about them… I tend to refrain from discussing my religious beliefs because it always seems like there’s SO much and SO little at the same time, you know? Like I frequently feel like bursting out and discussing all my various religious/spiritual ‘revelations’ with anyone close enough to listen (and at every stage of my ‘awakening’, I’m always absolutely sure of what I believe); but I’m also a complete devotee to the ‘meh, we’re all probably right’ school of thought. And so, I also just want to shut up and let everyone be.

Back to the point. I love angels. The whole ‘fearfully, wonderfully made’ thing, plus the battle of whether they’re beasts/sweet lil’ things will always fascinate me. I have 2 guardian angels – Maurice and Nathaniel. That’s not a question or a maybe, it’s a fact. I have 2 guardian angels. And I love them.

Anywaaaaay, the whole aim of this –> I heart this song:

 

ANGELS

Robbie Williams

I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate?
Do they know the places where we go
When we’re gray and old?
‘Cause I’ve been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold

So when I’m lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel that love is dead
I’m loving angels instead

And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I’m right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won’t break me
When I come to call, she won’t forsake me
I’m loving angels instead

When I’m feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I’ll always be blessed with love

And as the feeling grows
She breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I’m loving angels instead

Angels by Robbie Williams

Image via Wikipedia