Fight Apathy! Or Don’t.

June 12, 2010 § 5 Comments

ap-a-thy (n.)

  • lack of interest or enthusiasm for things generally considered interesting or moving; indifference.
  • lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness.

“Let’s conspire to ignite all the souls that would die just to feel alive.”

– Muse (Starlight)

I’ve been feeling terribly terribly apathetic lately. I mean, I’m still opinionated and I laugh and feel sad and have good moods and bad moods, but it’s more like, I dunno, like I’m not quite present? Like there’s a thick fog that I can’t seem to penetrate? That sounds so lovely and cliché. And true.

I’ve been slowly descending into the mist for a while now, but it’s gotten spectacularly bad recently. Usually it’s easy enough to operate on autopilot, but lately it’s like even that is failing me. I can no longer make myself do things that I feel I need to do to be able to regain my life when I’m out of this funk. I’m not really bothered about going to class, and the only reason I’ve actually attended a number of them is because I don’t have the energy to explain my absence to my classmates who call, or just ask the next day. I don’t have the energy to lie. That’s never ever happened to me before. I don’t have it in me to reply messages, I don’t have it in me to express my thoughts. I can’t even pretend to have a civil conversation with my room-mates so I spend most of my time with my headphones on or asleep. Or both. Just in case🙂

I’m sick and tired of feeling like this, yet apparently I’m not sick and tired enough of it to actually FEEL sick and tired. Confused? Anyway, the point of all this is that I’m irritated enough by it to attempt to regain some semblance of emotion. Actually posting this is step 1. It’s been sitting in my drafts about 3 days already. Maybe I’ll even be inspired to complete another of the 5 or 6 I’ve been meaning to complete for like a month🙂

Smileys are wonderful aren’t they? Convey whatever emotion you want to feel instead of what you actually DO feel? Love them.

“Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds…”

– Eminem (Stan)

I (used to) self-injure when I feel so much that it escalates to numbness. It always serves as a reminder that I’m still part of this world, and that I CAN still feel something. Sometimes it would just be a distraction from whatever was going on. Either way, it’s always been an expression of emotion. I’d give anything to have that burning desire back. To need to hurt myself physically as a manifestation of my internal turmoil. Much better than all this emptiness. Whatev, don’t really care though (ha! apathy pun!)

There are some pretty cool apathy tees on zazzle though –

THE REAL 7 DEADLY SINS:

Apathy

Cruelty

Duplicity

Hypocrisy

False Morality

Abuse of Power

Cultivated Ignorance

I couldn’t agree more even if I tried!

Another example is

If we’re all made in God’s image, why aren’t we all omnipotent, omnipresent, apathetic, invisible dudes?

In my personal opinion God IS apathetic to us. Completely indifferent. I just don’t think it needs to be some bitter, anti-religion message thing. It seems a bit unnecessary and pointless, and offensive to people who have different beliefs from you. I’d still wear it though🙂

A final one, and my personal favourite:

got apathy?

meh-be…

Oh my, that one made me laugh😀

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§ 5 Responses to Fight Apathy! Or Don’t.

  • Lisa says:

    Great post! I love the title, but sorry you’re going through a rough patch. That “Got Apathy?” shirt is awesome.

    • nobodyouknow says:

      Ha ha, the shirt is definitely something🙂 Wish I could take the credit for the title, but I saw it written somewhere:/

      Oh and no worries about the rough patch. Hopefully it’s just that – a patch.

      • Marek says:

        Almost at year since u posted. Hope u beat it. U not alone. Know this funk very well! Been told it’s called depression…. but that might just be marketing to sell drugs!

  • iquitelikethat says:

    I hope you stop feeling this way soon and get out of your funk, I know how horrible the feeling of apathy is. And the 7 deadly sins t-shirt is so true, especially the cultivated ignorance line.

  • iquitelikethat says:

    hi again,
    I just wanted to let you know I created my own ‘101 things to do in 1001 days’ post and linked to your blog at the beginning (since you gave me the idea in the first place!)
    best wishes,
    chelsey

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