Music Week (Day 7)

April 20, 2011 § Leave a comment

Whew, my last day of Music Week is finally here!!

I tried to mix it up and put some of the songs I like from different genres. I’ll refrain from calling them my favourites because I’m in love with tooooooo many songs to give that title to these seven. I’m definitely in-like with them though. And I didn’t go down the Tupac road, because I might have just ended up with Music Year 🙂

I like being exposed to new music so feel free to post/email me suggestions or links or whatever, yeah?

Today’s song represents what hip hop means to me. Maybe not literally because I can’t honestly say that I ‘grew up’ with hip hop, or it was my saving grace or whatever BUT, and this is a big but (he he), the lyrics, the story, the creativity, the double entendres, the emotions, THAT’s what hip hop is to me. Not the meaningless shit you hear from every tom, dick and harry who thinks he’s cool because he incessantly repeats the word nigga and talks about money and bitches and pussy (though we all know quite a number of them aren’t exactly what we’d call straight). And being ‘gangsta’. Shudder. To me, hip hop has to have actual meaning to qualify as hip hop. It’s basically poetry set to a beat. And I don’t think hip hop lovers are restricted any one group. True music should move you regardless of your usual preferences and what you like to get down to on the dance floor or whatev, because real music speaks to your soul and isn’t dependent on language, or style, or upbringing, or class, or anything as superficial as that. Yeah, okay, semi-rant? Done.

I’m posting 2 videos to the song. The first is the ordinary (but still lovely) video that is generally played, and the second is the one with Erykah Badu’s rap and is the version I prefer, although it refuses to play on wordpress. So yeah.

Oh, and in case you’re not reading the lyrics while listening to the song – the yellow is Erykah, the red is Common. And the orange, of course, is Ms. Badu’s rap. And for some reason WP won’t let me double space my writing, so that’s why the verses are like all over the place – at least the different alignments allows there to be some sort of demarcation.

Music Week? CHECK! 🙂

LOVE OF MY LIFE (ODE TO HIP HOP)

Erykah Badu featuring Common

I met him when I was a little girl

He gave me poetry and he was my first

But in my heart I knew, I wasn’t the only one

‘Cause when the tables turned he had to break up

Whenever I got lonely, needed some advice

He gave me his shoulder, his words were very nice

That is all behind me,

‘Cause now there is no other

My love is his, and his is mine

My friend became my…

Love of my life, you are my friend

Love of my life, I can depend

Love of my life, without you baby

Feels like I sampled true love

Well my name is Apples and I rock your world

I’m also known as the Gucci girl

Well, I’m super-cute and plenty bad

30-26-36 and a half

I hope that you will realize

I got the hazel eyes that’ll hypnotize

And knock you to your knees

Make you eat cheese

You’ll be so helpless you’ll be beggin’ me please

A freak, freak y’all and you don’t stop

To the beat y’all and you don’t stop

A freak, freak

Oh, could it be that it was all just so simple then?

A teenage love but you said, “He’s just a friend.”

He moved around and we kept in touch through his friend Mike

The world was young and we knew we couldn’t rush

But whenever I got lonely, or needed some advice

He gave me his shoulder, his words were very nice

That is all behind me

‘Cause now there is no other

My love is his, and his is mine

My friend became my…

Love of my life, you are my friend

Love of my life, on you I can depend

Love of my life, without you baby

Feels like I sampled true love, yeah

Mission and clear

Y’all know how I met her –

We broke up and got back together

To get her back, I had to sweat her

Thought she rolled with bad boys forever

In many ways them boys made it better

To grow, I had to let her

She needed cheddar, and I understood that

Looking for cheese, that don’t make her a hood rat

In fact she’s a queen to me, her light beams on me

I love it when she sings to me

It’s like that and uh

You know you rock my world

You be boy, and I be girl

It don’t stop until the break of dawn

And it don’t stop, cuz it can’t quit, cuz it can’t wait


and the one with the short rap


Twenteen

March 7, 2011 § Leave a comment

And so today I get to interrupt Music Week just to say

TO

 

This being my first birthday away from home, I’ve insisted that I don’t want to do anything. I’ve taken it down from all the social networking sites I belong to, and I’m just going to let the day pass (although carefully observing who my true friends are, of course).

So why am I writing about it here? Because, first of all

 

and so

 

…including making this (kinda) ugly post with nearly no colour (even though I’m a colour-freak) which I shall probably come to regret.

But after skyping with my entire nuclear family (minus my brother – whom I shall NOT forgive if I don’t hear from by the end of the night), and being sung for over the phone by my grandfolks all the way in goddamn Shianda, Kakamega, Kenya all within the first 2 hours of my day, I’m kinda over-flowing with happiness and appreciation and LOVE for the people close to me… *content sigh*

I’m not even going to edit any grammatical errors today, I’m just leaving it like this.

I LOVE MY FAMILY.

 

(to be continued…)

There Is A Cancer In Me. (via So It’s A Wednesday…)

August 11, 2010 § Leave a comment

I love this. It’s so beautiful. I’m lucky (?) enough not to suffer from depression, but for some reason, a number of people that I’m really close to do. And I’ve seen how it affects their lives, and the lives of those around them. And so, even if I don’t actually suffer from depression myself, I’m definitely coping with it.
Anyway, I liked this. Oh, and check out Cissy’s blog, will you? It’s definitely interesting to read 🙂

There is a Cancer in me. There is a mutation festering in the core of my being, putrefying my organs at an agonizingly slow pace, corrupting me.  It has warped my vision so that I no longer see the world as I should.  Everything has transformed into undefinable blurs of evil and anarchy before my eyes.  It has twisted and molded my young body into something old and used.  It feeds off me leaving me weak, drained, open to any and all kinds of infe … Read More

via So It’s A Wednesday…

Death Be Not Proud

May 23, 2010 § 9 Comments

In the midst of life we are in death. Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
(Book of Common Prayer, The Burial of the Dead, First Anthem.)

Death leaves a wound that never quite heals. You can stitch it up, you can cover it with a bandaid, but it’s somehow always fresh, torn open by a sound, an image, a smell, a thought…a memory. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Some people may let the wound fester and never clean it and end up with a stinking pus-filled sore, but you can also accept that the wound will always be a part of you, and occassionaly fondly remember the body part that was once there and is now no more.

A year ago today, my sister lost one of her best friends, Esther, to cancer. They had been classmates all through high school, and then went on to medical school together and four of these best friends decided to move in together. I don’t know if you’ve ever lived with someone who you didn’t HAVE to live with (i.e. family)? It’s not easy. You have to adjust to someone else’s habits, you have to learn to be accommodating, you have to be accepting. I don’t know how they did it, but they all lived quite happily together. First year medical school is high stress. Then you go on to second year where not all the subjects you take are examinable that year, and you suddenly have a lot of free time on your hands. So my sister couldn’t understand why, despite all the time they had to just chill, Esther was still missing quite a number of classes. The thing is, she never told anyone she was feeling unwell and my sister chalked it up to laziness (she told me later how guilty she felt about that). Esther only finally admitted to being unwell when the physical manifestations of it couldn’t be ignored any more (her stomach had swollen and she looked pregnant), and even then, getting her to agree to a doctor’s appointment was a battle. The doctor told her it was a cyst and would have to be removed in surgery, and since there didn’t seem to be any real rush, her parents told her to wait until she was done with her exams. When she finally went for the surgery, they found it was cancer, so they removed what they could but ‘didn’t get all of it’.

I remember no one even told me it was cancer. I mean, I knew she was sick, but it was only when my mum let slip that Esther was going for chemo did it hit me how serious this all was.

Now the thing with cancer is it’s not just like you’re here today, gone tomorrow. No. It lays waste to your body until you become a skeleton of what you once were. It tests your faith in humanity, and your faith in God. It gives you hope, and then yanks it away from you again so suddenly that you’re left stunned. Esther was in and out of hospital, and at one point things were looking much better. The cancer had apparently shrunk and they were going to operate to remove the remaining bits. When they opened her up again, they discovered that nah, it had actually spread, and oh yay, we have to perform a hysterectomy on this 20 year old girl who loves kids. There were trips to South Africa, and trials of new drugs (“We heard that this worked for someone-we-know’s someone’s someone”), and an endless number of other hardships. And it was rough, to say the least.

Esther’s parents live in another country altogether, and though they would try to come down as much as possible, they couldn’t exactly just up and leave their jobs when they have so many children to support (six? seven?), all except one being in university, and a hospital bill that could make you weep. And so my sister and 3 others became her family. They were the ones who were let in the hospital at odd hours, the ones who slept in a chair through the night so that she wouldn’t be alone, the ones she asked for when she was so sick that she couldn’t talk, couldn’t move, couldn’t bare to be seen. And they sat with her, laughed with her, held her, texted her jokes at random hours, brought her music, threw her a birthday party in the hospital, and most of all, loved her.

I learned a lot from Esther, my sister and her friends. I learned what friendship means, I learned about selflessness, I learned to always ALWAYS fully appreciate the moments of joy you have in life regardless of how fleeting they are. This girl underwent the worst possible torture I can imagine, and still was the most positive person. I’m not saying she didn’t have her dark moments of anger, despair, desolation, but she remained a light in the lives of those around her.

On the 23rd of May 2009, Esther passed on. My sister saw her the day before, and Esther held on until her mother arrived (she was flying back home) before she finally let go. Even during her last hours, she was still selfless enough to give her mother a final gift of seeing her alive one last time.

I write this in tribute of Esther. It may not mean much to anyone, but she’ll always be a saint. Because this is written anonymously, it’s not meant to provide comfort to anyone, I’m simply honouring her memory. And she deserves to be honoured.

And I write this in tribute of my sister who, regardless of how we may not address emotions while together, will always be my role model, and my living breathing guardian angel. And the fact that she regards herself as the farthest thing from that, only makes me love her more.

And though I never mentioned his role in all this, I write this in tribute of my father. The greatest man I’ve ever known and will ever have the honour of knowing. To go into everything he did for Esther, her parents and my sister would take more time than I have. But I acknowledge that I have the greatest family, and I would give my life for any one of them. Any time. I’m blessed 🙂

Death is never easy, even when it’s inevitable. I can only hope there’s an after-life. There has to be a point to all this, right? After all, dying is the day worth living for (never thought I’d one day quote The Pirates of the Caribbean!), right?

We’re all going to die. So regardless of how cliché this may sound, get out there and LIVE!! I fully intend to.

One short sleep past, we wake eternally, and Death shall be sitting in the kitchen in his underwear at three in the morning, doing last week’s crossword puzzle (The Time Traveler’s Wife)

I read this once in one of the newspapers, and I figured I’d share it because it makes so much sense to me:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – glass of wine in one hand, chocolate in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, “WOO HOO, what a ride!”

Or as Michelle put it so eloquently when talking about Chris after he died (if you don’t know what I’m referring to, please be ashamed of yourself and find a way to watch Skins – the first generation. It’s poetry and magic on screen): “He said, ‘Fuck it, I’ll do it my way and the people that love me will understand why I’m doing it because they love me. Fuck it’.”

Death, be not proud, you stupid motherfucker.

so

November 24, 2009 § 5 Comments

just finished my 3 hour long math paper. i didn’t read for it. i haven’t read for any of my papers so far. i missed half the classes for all my subjects, and didn’t hand in almost all my assignments. i’m not proud.


okay, okay, wait. let me back up a little. i’m a first year (first sem actually) engineering student. my major is robotics and mechatronics. i’m in a university a continent away from home, and this is my first time on my own. like really alone…you know? i came here knowing absolutely no one in this town, in this STATE, let alone in this uni. which was really hard for me considering the whole, you know, shyness + generally antisocial behaviour + extreme dislike of change that defines my personality. but i did it. i came here, and i made friends, and it’s not TOO bad, i guess. it’s weird that i’m such a different person here though – no boys, no alcohol except once, no girls, no naughtiness, no flirting…i pretty much define a GOOD girl. and that would make my friends back home laugh their asses off 😀 not that i’m usually thaaat bad, but it’s still a major change.

i know i’d already started off talking about it, but i’m tired. i really do want to talk about my school life though, because that’s the centre of WHO i am right now. next post? yup, next post… 🙂

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