March 2, 2011 § 4 Comments
I love angels. There’s just something about them… I tend to refrain from discussing my religious beliefs because it always seems like there’s SO much and SO little at the same time, you know? Like I frequently feel like bursting out and discussing all my various religious/spiritual ‘revelations’ with anyone close enough to listen (and at every stage of my ‘awakening’, I’m always absolutely sure of what I believe); but I’m also a complete devotee to the ‘meh, we’re all probably right’ school of thought. And so, I also just want to shut up and let everyone be.
Back to the point. I love angels. The whole ‘fearfully, wonderfully made’ thing, plus the battle of whether they’re beasts/sweet lil’ things will always fascinate me. I have 2 guardian angels – Maurice and Nathaniel. That’s not a question or a maybe, it’s a fact. I have 2 guardian angels. And I love them.
Anywaaaaay, the whole aim of this –> I heart this song:
I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate?
Do they know the places where we go
When we’re gray and old?
‘Cause I’ve been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I’m lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel that love is dead
I’m loving angels instead
And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I’m right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won’t break me
When I come to call, she won’t forsake me
I’m loving angels instead
When I’m feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I’ll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
She breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I’m loving angels instead
June 12, 2010 § 5 Comments
- lack of interest or enthusiasm for things generally considered interesting or moving; indifference.
- lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness.
“Let’s conspire to ignite all the souls that would die just to feel alive.”
– Muse (Starlight)
I’ve been feeling terribly terribly apathetic lately. I mean, I’m still opinionated and I laugh and feel sad and have good moods and bad moods, but it’s more like, I dunno, like I’m not quite present? Like there’s a thick fog that I can’t seem to penetrate? That sounds so lovely and cliché. And true.
I’ve been slowly descending into the mist for a while now, but it’s gotten spectacularly bad recently. Usually it’s easy enough to operate on autopilot, but lately it’s like even that is failing me. I can no longer make myself do things that I feel I need to do to be able to regain my life when I’m out of this funk. I’m not really bothered about going to class, and the only reason I’ve actually attended a number of them is because I don’t have the energy to explain my absence to my classmates who call, or just ask the next day. I don’t have the energy to lie. That’s never ever happened to me before. I don’t have it in me to reply messages, I don’t have it in me to express my thoughts. I can’t even pretend to have a civil conversation with my room-mates so I spend most of my time with my headphones on or asleep. Or both. Just in case 🙂
I’m sick and tired of feeling like this, yet apparently I’m not sick and tired enough of it to actually FEEL sick and tired. Confused? Anyway, the point of all this is that I’m irritated enough by it to attempt to regain some semblance of emotion. Actually posting this is step 1. It’s been sitting in my drafts about 3 days already. Maybe I’ll even be inspired to complete another of the 5 or 6 I’ve been meaning to complete for like a month 🙂
Smileys are wonderful aren’t they? Convey whatever emotion you want to feel instead of what you actually DO feel? Love them.
“Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds…”
– Eminem (Stan)
I (used to) self-injure when I feel so much that it escalates to numbness. It always serves as a reminder that I’m still part of this world, and that I CAN still feel something. Sometimes it would just be a distraction from whatever was going on. Either way, it’s always been an expression of emotion. I’d give anything to have that burning desire back. To need to hurt myself physically as a manifestation of my internal turmoil. Much better than all this emptiness. Whatev, don’t really care though (ha! apathy pun!)
There are some pretty cool apathy tees on zazzle though –
THE REAL 7 DEADLY SINS:
Abuse of Power
I couldn’t agree more even if I tried!
Another example is
If we’re all made in God’s image, why aren’t we all omnipotent, omnipresent, apathetic, invisible dudes?
In my personal opinion God IS apathetic to us. Completely indifferent. I just don’t think it needs to be some bitter, anti-religion message thing. It seems a bit unnecessary and pointless, and offensive to people who have different beliefs from you. I’d still wear it though 🙂
A final one, and my personal favourite:
Oh my, that one made me laugh 😀
May 21, 2010 § 13 Comments
‘This post is super-awesome‘… Why do they give you such an option when you’re writing something? I mean, OBVIOUSLY I think it’s super-awesome if I’m writing it, duh, but I’m also not going to click that button since it doesn’t really tell me what it’ll put up. For all I know, you guys will get a ‘this post was written by an egocentric douche‘ message. And I generally AM egocentric, but I’m certainly not a douche! Yuck. I REALLY want to tick that box though. Ah, to hell with it! This post is super-awesome? YESSIR!! 😀
I have to do a research project for one of my classes. The lecturer gave us the liberty to choose whatever topic we wanted, and my suggestions were
- Pre-marital sex. Are you waiting or are you sexually active? (“Ugh, I hate it when adults use the term ‘sexually active’. What does it even mean? Am I gonna like deactivate some day or is it a permanent state of being?” *sigh* god, I love Juno! I digress…) Do you use protection? Each time? Multiple partners or one? Do you get tested regularly? Are you and your partner educated about diseases and pregnancy? You know, that sorta thing…
- Interracial/inter-cultural marriage. I know this generally doesn’t sound like such a big deal topic any more, but I’m living in an Asian country right now, and let me just tell you, diversity is yet to reach here. I mean, several people that I talked to think it’s liberal when like Chinese and Indians get married, for example. The idea of marrying completely outside their race – to a black person, or to a white person, or any other kind of foreigner – drew quite a number of blank stares. It’s not even prejudice (though there’s quite a bit), it’s more of an inconceivable concept. I don’t understand it at all. (Er, I’m not generalizing though. I’m simply stating what I’ve observed.)
- Religion. What faith do you subscribe to? Are you active or passive in practising your beliefs? Are you whatever religion you are out of personal choice, or is it ’cause of family/societal influence? How does religion impact our lives today?
We’re working in groups of three. One of my groupmates suggested that we do research on
- Cosmetic surgery. Necessity versus vanity? Does it go against any religious/cultural beliefs? Would you go under the knife/would you support someone’s need to go under the knife? Does it raise self-confidence, or is it just a sign of low self-esteem?
Hmmm, the third member doesn’t even deserve to have her topics mentioned (the importance of history and why do we cut down trees? and women are better drivers than men, etc. Yawn.) In the end, we decided to go with religion. Needless to say, i’m pretty damn excited!! 🙂 Religion (and my battles with/against it) has always been a pretty pivotal part of my life and my personality (and I shall write about in detail in one of my next posts. You can hardly stand the excitement, huh?)
I’m THOROUGHLY open to discussing ANYTHING based on religion. If you wanna about any religious topic, hit me up on my email (email@example.com) or just comment in the comment box thingy below and we can express ourselves 🙂 Don’t expect me to agree with everything you say though, and please don’t be offended by anything I say (I say some things simply for argument’s sake, and some of my opinions are just plain controversial).
But for now, please please do the poll? 🙂 And if you have time, you can even take my survey… It’s really short, just a couple of questions. Please and thank you 🙂
Or you can🙂