May 19, 2010 § 17 Comments

This is for anyone who I decide to link to:

I figured I’d reduce the creepiness factor by generally asking (read telling) you before I linked to your page, but after doing that 4 times, I’m tired. I keep coming across more and more things that I find interesting, and I figure sharing is caring, right? 🙂 So until my blogroll becomes disgustingly full, if I like what you write about, I’m going to put a link on my page. So if you happen to randomly come across my page and you see your stuff here, I’m not a crazy stalker, promise.

You should actually be honoured. 😛

And for you, yes YOU reading this blog, check out my links 🙂 They’re pretty interesting, even to someone with a scarily short attention span like me. You’ll find at least one that you’ll fall in love with…true story.


Ahmed. [And A Horrible Mix Of Colours (Which I Am Too Lazy To Change)]

May 2, 2010 § 2 Comments

So I’m feeling quite chatty today. Poor you, eh? 🙂

I’ve been really busy this week – two of my assignments (that i had, of course, not even began because procrastination is an evil attractive monster) were due on Thursday and Friday. So it’s been crazy crazy work, right? Right. On Tuesday i was sitting in the darkest corner of the caff (feeling antisocial, bitches!) from about 9 in the night till like 1 in the morn. And there’s this guy (Ahmed. I can’t possibly maintain ‘this guy’ till he introduces himself) who kept passing and generally looking in my direction like he had something to say. I had my headphones on though, and my music at the highest volume possible (like i said, antisocial), so I guess he figured whatev, you know?
So I finally get up to leave, and I have to pass by the table that Ahmed and his peoples just happen to be sitting at. I’m walking quite fast because, well, first of all, the hostel curfew on weekdays is 12. And secondly, like I said before, I had a shitload of work that I needed to do. And as I’m walking, I hear someone literally running after me going, “Excuse! Excuse!
So I stop.
Ahmed: Hi!
Me: Um, hey.
Ahmed: What’s your name?
Me: Nobody (no, that is NOT what I actually said. But anonymous blog this, remember?)
Ahmed: Well, I’m Ahmed (no need to protect his confidentiality, right?). Hello Nobody! Are you a student of this university? no, duh. Where are you going to? Can I have your number? Where are you going, Nobody? whoa… breathe
Me: Um, to the hostels?
Ahmed: You stay there? intelligent creature this, eh?
Me: Yup.
Ahmed: Your number please?
Me: Ummmm…
Ahmed: Yes? Your number?
Me: Ummmm…
Ahmed: Here’s my phone for you to write it! hint not taken? really?
Me: Er, I generally don’t give my number to strangers. And I’m in a rush, I need to go…
Ahmed: Your number, Nobody?
ah, whatev, no time to fight
(this is where I give my number… Unwise. I know, I know.)
Ahmed: I’ll call you, Nobody! I’ll call! This I promise! shit
Me: Yeah. Bye…
So the next day, I get about 3 texts from him. And I’m busy. So I only reply to the first, and not being a bitch or anything, I genuinely forget about the rest. And later that night, he calls asking how I’m doing, where I am (caff, again) etc. And lets me know that he’ll join me in 10.
10 minutes pass. 20… (but i’m hard at work, so it’s not like i was counting them, lol)
>> hey, what’s the deal with people who hate the word ‘lol’ anyway? I use it, but like, with discretion. so what’s the prob?? ANYWAY… <<
30 minutes. 45…
Another busy night, so I decide to leave ’cause I’d given him time anyway. God, I am such a nice person! And I’m packing up my stuff with my headphones still on when I feel a tap on my shoulder. Now, here’s the thing about me – i get startled easily.
Me: *practically jumping out of my skin* SHIT!!!
Ahmed: Apologies!!
Me: Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod… *my heart palpitating like, i dunno, a freaking drum* Jesus!
Ahmed: Hello again, Nobody! I came a long long time ago, but I saw you working, so I just sat over there and watched you! creepo much?
Ahmed: I need to talk to you. Please sit?
Me: Need to talk? um, okay… About?
Ahmed: Where are you from?
Me: Nowhere (once again, anonymity. Not bitchiness)
Ahmed: I’m from Nigeria. no shit. >> and by that, i mean ’cause’ve his obvious accent. Don’t get it twisted, thinking i mean something else << I assume you know why I followed you yesterday and asked for your number and sent you messages and called you and came to see you tonight? try using pauses instead of ‘and’, asshole
Me: Because your friendly?
Ahmed: I’ve been watching you for about a month now. excuse me? And I must say, I quite like what I see. I want us to be in a relationship.
Me: *laughing* …what?
Ahmed: Yes, I’ve thought about it, and you’re perfect. Will you be mine? so not how I imagined I’d first hear those words
Me: …what?
Ahmed: Yes, yes, I’ve thought long and hard.
Me: Ummmm…
Ahmed: You are my girlfriend now, yes? forgot about his inability to take hints
Me: I’m already in a relationship. (no i’m not.)
Ahmed: Is he in NoPlace also?
Me: Uh, nah, he’s back home. In Nowhere. (no he’s not.)
>> bet you’re thinking I should’ve said yes to that, huh? I couldn’t though, because I’d already told Mr. Can’t-Pick-Up-The-Phone-And-Call (previous post) about my ‘boyfriend’. <<
Ahmed: I have a girlfriend at home also. But she’s not here, so she doesn’t matter.
Me: Yeah, well, I’m in a committed relationship.
Ahmed: Yes, well, I was told that. excuse me, told by who?? have you been asking about me? holy shit.
Me: Yeah, well, it’s true. I need to go.
Ahmed: I understand. You are beautiful. Our relationship will be beautiful.
Me: I’m not in a relationship with you.
Ahmed: Let me walk you to the gate [of the hostels]. Like your man should. my man?
Me: Wow. Bye.

>> and yes, he DID proceed to walk beside me the whole time, despite the fact that i quite convincingly faked a call <<
I had to get a drink from the vending machine at the caff today. HE WAS THERE. And proceeded to tell me, among many, many other things to which i did not respond except to unequivocally state that i am NOT INTERESTED, that he’s coming to pick me up tomorrow for ‘a movie and dinner’.
Please note that I’ve chosen not to bore you with the tales of the numerous texts and ‘missed’ calls from him. It’s Saturday. We met on Tuesday.
No. No no no no no no no NO. Please tell me that this is not another stalker situation??? Because I promise I CANNOT do this. I can’t handle it. I won’t be okay this time. I moved to a new uni in March. New place. Again.That means I not only don’t have my friends from back home, I also don’t have the ones I made during my fake first sem of uni (fake because I never went to class). I make friends slow. Friends friends, I mean. Not acquaintances.
And so I’ll just keep hoping that I’m jumping to conclusions, and that Ahmed is not in fact stalker-like, just over-eager. And will be bored of me quickly.
This is a bloody long post.

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